lost & found-the dialogue of soul searching

i want to find you on every map
in every constellation
in every twinkle of their eyes
but yet
in all this searching
where am i?
am i in the ocean?
in the night sky?
in a strangers face?
you see
i spent every second looking for you
i never found myself
now i find myself
on my hands and knees
digging in the soft earth
hoping that i will uncover
my unknown soul
a shining light that will
fill my whole being
i will glow
i will fly
i will find myself at the ends of the earth
and just be

and that’s when you will begin searching for me
two perfect halves
making a perfect whole
no imperfection in love
just two independent souls
ready for the risk of love
the search may cease

thoughts on paper

1. so, here you are again
   standing on that same, terrifying precipice
   you love it up here
   you always have
   but it scares you
   it rattles your bones and freezes your brain
   until you can’t move
   you feel as if the walls are closing in
   you forget to breathe
   and then a laugh emerges
   a light breeze, letting you know how alive you are
   in this moment
   and you realize
   you can’t give this up
   you could stay here forever
   terrified and ecstatic all at the same time
   on the edge of emotion everyday
   they never said life would be this complicated
   they said it’d be worse
2. i remember the way the atmosphere shifted
   when we realized we weren’t worth the effort
   the timing, the place
   but i’ll never stop loving you
   i wont forget your face
   or the way the sides of your lips wrinkle when you laugh
   your eyes get so happy
   i wish i could see that side of you again
   with me
3. its hard to know somebody
   like the back of your hand
   because when they walk away
   you no longer know how to touch
   how to feel
   you no longer recognize that part of yourself
   it has now disappeared